190775

Joke of the Day

"You know what I like most about people? Their Pets."

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"I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class. I've never run so far in my life."
"Here's what I know about girls. If she's angry, it will pass. If she goes silent, leave the country, change your name & start a new life."
"Maybe early risers just aren't as awesome at sleeping as I am."
"At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person's shoe laces together. It's not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?"
"What's big but small? A midget's ego."
"Stop making jokes about noses It snot funny"
"Two atoms walking down the street ... ... one turns to the other and says ""I think I've lost an electron"". The other replies ""F*ck me, a talking atom!"""
"What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'? ""Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!"""
"A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend seemed unusually cheerful. Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or later, time wounds all heels."