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Joke of the Day

"My friend learned today that his effeminate kid's favourite song comes from Annie. I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, The Son'll Come Out Tomorrow."

"A ""clear memory"" button, but for my brain. And while we're at it, a ""delete cookies"" button, but for my thighs."

"You can tell Monopoly's an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"How long does a dog's bark last? **Ruff**ly a second."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... ... then a chair and then a table."

"The revolution will not be televised. It will be streaming on netflix this summer"

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station once, and they never figured out it was me. They had nothing to go on."

"""Dad can you tell me 5 animals that live in the North Pole?"" "" yes son , 3 polar bears and 2 seals. Anything else?"" ___ ""No dad thanks""___ ""No problem son"""

"So my friend asked me if I wanted some Sodium Hypobromite... and I was like, NaBrO"