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Joke of the Day

"Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny."

"[rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*"

"That one liner 'i'm not drinking too much tonight' never goes as planned..."

"To all those people that have ever talked about me behind my back... You discussed me."

"What did the bat say to the other bat when he almost flew into a tree? Whoa did you hear that?"

"How do you make a dog drink? You put it in a blender."

"Q: Why did the baker have brown hands? A: Because he kneaded a poo."

"What do you get when you order a JFK? An americano with an extra shot"

"Where did the Grim Reaper find his missing keys? On Death's drawer."

"I refused to buy my 5yo a tablet, and now she's resorted to hand-drawing angry emojis on pieces of paper to express her frustration."