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Joke of the Day

"Suddenly had the urge to lay on the floor and do stomach crunches. Then I found some bubble wrap and that urge went away."

Next Joke
 
"Now that I'm almost 30, there is nothing more sexy to me, than a girl who is fully covered... ...By her health insurance provider."
"What's the opposite of condescending? [gif](http://25.media.tumblr.com/6b1b800af79638830eef30deb8163bbf/tumblr_ms1l531JGu1s29n2zo1_250.gif)"
"I saw a VW hybrid today. It runs on gasoline and lies."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a race with the egg, but I'm not sure who came first."
"How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? More guns."
"Germ 1-OMG he dropped his pizza! Germ 2-PIIZZZAAAA!!! Let's get it! Germ Capt.-Stand back! He still has one more second to pick it up."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? A Japanese business man wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face"
"So I finally got Pokemon GO... I still haven't caught any Counter-Terrorists."
"I've invented a new flavour of crisps, if they're successful I'll make a packet."