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Joke of the Day

"Germ 1-OMG he dropped his pizza! Germ 2-PIIZZZAAAA!!! Let's get it! Germ Capt.-Stand back! He still has one more second to pick it up."

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu."

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell"

"My pet mouse ""Elvis"" has died :( He was caught in a trap......."

"Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blond, too."

"Why did the Elton John wax dummy get down voted? Because it was fake and gay."

"A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father. Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please? Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?"

"Total Eclipse Today I tried using a colander to view the eclipse. I think I've strained my eyes."

"I take for granite people's poor grammar. More pacifically, how there always thinking ""for all intensive purposes"" is supposably correct."