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Joke of the Day

"Now that I'm almost 30, there is nothing more sexy to me, than a girl who is fully covered... ...By her health insurance provider."

"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."

"What do you call the procedure for female to male sex change? A stitchadicktomy"

"I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals. It's shift work."

"What do Thomas Jefferson and a WNBA owner have in common? They both have 15 African-American women ready to go to work for them."

"I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF."

"Why do black people like the NBA? It's the only sport where you can shoot, steal and run!"

"I carry a magic 8 ball because no one should have to make tough decisions alone."

"What's an ""innuendo"" ? An Italian suppository"

"What do you call an aborted baby Spawn Kill"