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Joke of the Day

"Is syphilis forever? Or is it kinda like... Clap on, Clap off?"

"Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort."

"I wanted to be a communist. But my dad is too rich."

"How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican? They tell you."

"How do you keep a slow person in suspense?"

"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."

"CENTAUR: My dad slept with a horse MINOTAUR: My mum slept with a bull PIGOTAUR: My dad was Prime Minister."

"I'm in such a weird place in my life right now. Literally. This shop only sells Owls and Mayonnaise."

"Did you know Jesus has nice abs? He does crossfit."

"My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave."