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Joke of the Day
"My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave."
Next Joke
"Here's a broom go sweep the floors... 'Here's a broom go sweep the floors.' 'But I have a PhD...' 'Oh, I'm sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done.'"
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Cause I put on the wrong sock this morning"
"How many Amish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... I mean, they aren't fucking retarded."
"Doctor: How's your headache? Patient: She's out of town."
"Science, Philosophy and Religion What is Science? Looking for a black cat in a black room. What is Philosophy? Asking whether there is a black cat in a black room. What is Religion? ""I HAVE THE CAT"""
"I didn't sleep so well last night... So this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I made it halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car."
"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you fuckin racist."
"I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!"
"My girlfriend said to me ""you keep talking like we're on Walky talkies... this relationship is over!!"" ""This relationship is what? Over."""