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Joke of the Day

"STDs are like Pokemon. Gotta catch'm all!"

"[Apple meeting] We need an honest iPhone 6 slogan. ""How about, iPhone 6: Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices."" Too honest, Carl."

"What do you call? What do you call a donkey with three legs?? A wonkey!!"

"What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date? Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!"

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"What do you call a centipede with no legs An amputede"

"Where do Robots go for fun? The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)"

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"Whole Foods mixed up the labels on regular & vegan chicken salads. Vegans became suspicious when they experienced a fleeting moment of joy."