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Joke of the Day

"I'm in such a weird place in my life right now. Literally. This shop only sells Owls and Mayonnaise."

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'."

"What do girls and snowflakes have in common? They can't drive cars."

"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !doc"

"You can tell Monopoly is an old game; Rich people can go to jail."

"Guess what came in the mail today I did, I ran out of tissue."

"You now that fucker that always needs to have the last word? He is called Edit."

"What did the blondes mom say to her before leaving for a night out? If you're not in bed by one come home."

"I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs."