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Joke of the Day
"""Are you pro gay?"" he asked. ""Amateur at best,"" I replied"
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"How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada? Piece of cake."
"If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms."
"I'm thrilled that you found Jesus. Where was he hiding?"
"The narcissistic cannibal started to eat his own body but stopped because he was already full of himself"
"What is the difference between a Black Guy and an elevator ? One can raise a child"
"What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce on its face? Chicken Caesar salad."
"What does Santa do to dragons? He ""sleighs"" them."
"I can't wait until the year 2054 when the easy-listening music you hear in elevators will be Skrillex."
"Politicians are like diapers... They're almost exclusively white"