85264

Joke of the Day

"I'm thrilled that you found Jesus. Where was he hiding?"

"There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation. He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again."

"""I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing."" ""That's me- totally normal!"" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*"

"I was bitten by a mosquito today. It sucked."

"TIFU by giving someone the wrong sandwich at a deli Whoops, wrong sub"

"My wife got in the shower with me this morning. She said ""Mmm baby I want you to do bad things to me"". So I put shampoo in her eyes."

"What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon? A Brazillionaire!"

"I get it ladies, I had abs before I had kids too."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan."

"What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping? Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!"