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Joke of the Day

"What do gay horses eat? Haaaaaay!"

"Are you a cat because you're purrrrrrfect."

"It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope."

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance....... so I pushed her over."

"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron."

"Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson"

"A wizard walks into a gay bar and disappears with a poof."

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"