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Joke of the Day

"My throat hurts, so I better keep swallowing 50 times a minute to make sure it still hurts."

"Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with ""mix-ins."" Hot Mash Potatery"

"What was the title of the soundtrack to 'The Inconvenient Truth'? Al Gore Rhythms"

"Every Olympic event should include one average person competing for reference."

"I wish I would be poor for a day Instead of every day of the year"

"Why does Godzilla go to temple? because he's a kaiju"

"what did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look i'm changing"

"[neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars"

"Never cry for an onion that doesn't deserve you."

"Don't argue with strangers on the Internet. Save up all that negative energy for your coworkers and door to door salesmen."