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Joke of the Day

"Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind.."

"A girl asked me whether I preferred breasts or thighs I replied , "" I prefer bubble butts and double D's"" Then I got kicked out of KFC."

"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."

"I don't wanna sound like a dick, but let me just say this:"

"An entire generation does not know what the hell is happening when a movie pans over to a wall calendar and the pages magically fly away."

"Knock knock, interrupting cat (warning, do NOT tell joke in busy public areas) Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cat Interrupting ca... MMEEAAOOWW"

"The White Walkers don't need to attack The Known World as they all kill each other there anyway."

"Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards? A: You get your job and your wife back."

"My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested ""breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."""