178906

Joke of the Day

"A girl asked me whether I preferred breasts or thighs I replied , "" I prefer bubble butts and double D's"" Then I got kicked out of KFC."

"In which country are they refusing to use wi-fi and bluetooth? In wireland"

"What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand? Kermit's undivided"

"How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down? He keeps a log"

"the fact that im 29 and buttholes and poop are still really funny to me says more about the staying power of buttholes than it does about me"

"Best response by a nursing home patient ever. I asked my patient, ""how ya feelin today""? He whispers while still half asleep, ""with my fingers."""

"A rapist, paedophile and priest enter a bar. He orders a beer."

"I learned two things in prison. Don't sweat the petty, and don't pet the sweaty!"

"Why did they not allow farmers in Greece? They got tired of all the minotaurs."

"Inspired by a recent ELI5: ""Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres"", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts? . . A: Elephants"