184122

Joke of the Day

"A Sinking Boat Clinton, Nixon, and Reagan were on a sinking Boat. Reagan: Women & Children go first Nixon: Fuck the Women! Clinton: You think we have time?"

"Where do terrorists go to get a bite to eat? the Allahu snack-bar."

"How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head? When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up"

"[my fitness dvd] ME: *lifting cans of soup as weights* im using minestrone but you can use pretty much any kind"

"Why do men die before their wives? Because we want to!"

"""For my next illusion"" the magician announces: ""Free will!"" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why"

"Why is Santa so Jolly? Because he knows where all the Naughty Girls live."

"Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you."

"Did you hear they found a dead ice cream vendor covered in sprinkles? Police are saying he topped himself."

"What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match? Preparation H"