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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a big, dumb, slow guy who cuts down trees? A lumbering oaf."

"What do you call an someone who's an itch that begins with a B? Brash."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"What's a balloon's least favorite music? Pop."

"What did pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY"

"I once met a man from Nantucket... I don't know the rest, so fuck it."

"What do you call a pig behind a car wheel? A ham brake !"

"I heard Matt Damon took it real hard when he heard Robin Williams died. I just hope he remembers. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..."

"s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic"

"Superman: How'd you know? Lex: Know what? S: My secret identity! L: Whaddya mean? S: You called me a KENT!! L: That's NOT what I called you."