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Joke of the Day
"What did pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."
"My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me ""literally, nothing is interesting to me""."
"what picture is guaranteed to make the front page of Reddit? Bernie Sanders sitting on a mildly interesting toilet while playing fallout 4"
"What did the lucky butter say? I'm on a roll!"
"INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course"
"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""
"What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common? They all ""Feel The Burn!"""
"I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand"
"I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive."