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Joke of the Day

"Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either."

"What cow produces milk and potatoes Your mother."

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"My girl says I'm like a volcano in bed... Dormant"

"My cell-mate had nick name for me... Mitochondria."

"I reached my goal of shedding 137 pounds this week It's nice being single again"

"There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka."

"My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alfred ! Alfred who ! Alfred of the dark !"

"My girlfriend told me her head hurt. I said, ""No it doesn't, I really enjoy it."""