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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me her head hurt. I said, ""No it doesn't, I really enjoy it."""

"What's the difference between an ""Ooh"" and an ""Aah""? About 5 inches."

"It's impossible to embarrass me because once the door opens on you while you're pooping on an amtrak train, you become untouchable"

"Why did everyone love the fisherman? He was a real catch"

"My brother and I own adjacent farms The other day he rode over to complain that I was growing marijuana on his side of the fence. I told him to get off his high horse."

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."

"Why did the chicken not cross the road? to not get to the other side."

"Recently in my town there has been a lot of rain. A local church put this sign on the marquee: ""Tired of the rain?..."" ""... Come find the Son inside!"""

"Ye olde insult battle Insult the person above you in ye olde english. Try to quote shakespeare if you have any quotes in your head. I'll start. Thou dissembler, thou! I fear thee not."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head!"