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Joke of the Day

"What cow produces milk and potatoes Your mother."

"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline."

"Great pickup line... You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress? Her: Yes. You: Wanna Traumatize it?"

"I'm not sexist... Because that's wrong and being wrong is for women..."

"Why does the fat chick give the best blowjobs? She closes her eyes and imagines she's having cordon bleu."

"My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind."

"If I can eat or drink it in less than two minutes, don't tell me it's 3.5 servings."

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

"The key to success is sincerity... Once you can fake that, you're golden."

"Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."