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Joke of the Day

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story."

"My son asked me what made the Fourth Crusade different from the first three. I told him it was a little unorthodox."

"Why don't other bugs like earwigs ? Because they are always earwigging their conversations !"

"do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ""starting now?"" yes ""the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"""

"An Amnesiac Knocks on the Door Knock knock. Who's there? Amnesia. Amnesia who? ... ... Knock knock."

"When is the Bible accurate? When it's thrown from a short distance."

"After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she ""Can't take a Joke"" ""I let u put your cock in me don't I"" she replied."

"Where did the chess player go when he lost one of his chess pieces? The pawn shop."

"How do you lose a Football championship penalty shootout? You Messi-up"