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Joke of the Day

"do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ""starting now?"" yes ""the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"""

"I went to an atom party last night. It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!"

"I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to ""sleep my way to the top"" I get woken up and sent to HR."

"I can give you the reason for anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."

"It's 4:20 do you know what that means?!? It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done."

"You ever watch a really stupid person for like 10 mins and wonder how they haven't been hit by a train or carried off by a giant eagle yet?"

"Doctor Doctor Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?"

"You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your ""hell"" is."

"Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable."

"My neutered cat has such a tiny girly voice Must be a catstratti"