131529

Joke of the Day

"The first person who pulled an egg out from under a chicken's ass and ate it must have been really fucking hungry."

"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... ...What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous."

"my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head Edit: chill guys extra upvotes are gonna start taking my organs"

"So, hear about the 2 Muslims in a speedboat who broke through the Thames barrier? They rammed a dam"

"Halloween is the second woman's day in the year You can see slutty drunk witches everywhere after dark."

"What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord? Two flutists playing in unison."

"Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly? Driver: I have to this is a getaway car."

"Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working! *eye twitches"

"Doctor Doctor my son has swallowed my pen what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there"