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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord? Two flutists playing in unison."

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."

"I'd hate to give a speech to nudists because I'd be nervous and then I'd have to imagine them without their skin on and skeletons are scary."

"I know it's a tetherball pole in a public park. But, where else can I practice my sweet, sexy dance moves on a Sunday morning?"

"I'm sure some of you have already heard this one..... 4217"

"To make it safer to use the mobile phone when I'm driving, I've deleted all my German male contacts. I now completely Hans free."

"This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that's also the last time I'll buy cheap toilet paper..."

"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."

"Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because it's dead."

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? 2"