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Joke of the Day

"Whispered ""I love you"" to my 2 yo. He whispered ""I know"" back. And w/that, he put his hand down the front of his diaper, and became a pimp."

"Dragons aren't evil; they're just upset that they can't enjoy Popsicles and other frozen treats."

"An old couple were in church the other morning and the old lady said to the old man ""I've just broken wind silently, what will I do?"" He said, ""First thing is get new batteries for your hearing aid""."

"What did the singers say right before they had sex? Let's duet! I am so proud for coming up with this one"

"If I had a dollar for every woman that finds me unattractive... ...then after a while they would find me attractive."

"Last night I dreamed about eating a huge cotton candy. When I woke up, my pillow was missing."

"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire."

"What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner? ""No thanks, I'm stuffed."""

"I got a new fridge today. It's pretty cool."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Answer: ...Because it saw the salad dressing!"