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Joke of the Day
"Why was the tomato blushing? Answer: ...Because it saw the salad dressing!"
Next Joke
"TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going ""Band? We thought you said ban"" TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming?"
"I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn't do enough Tim Burton films."
"The Taliban heavily overestimates the need for monkey-bar training."
"TIL the odds, as a male college student, of having sex with a given college girl. One in four"
"What do you call it when a guy fucks a girl and never calls her again? A hit and run"
"Choose your own adventure: S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P Dad sees a soda? Moving a couch for dad? Obese girl with a vision problem?"
"""What the fuck is a newspaper?"" - our grandchildren"
"As of Nov 9, 2016, what will be the 2nd most populous state in America? Catatonic"
"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."