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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every woman that finds me unattractive... ...then after a while they would find me attractive."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor ? ... It went down the lane and turned into a field."

"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."

"Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye."

"Who was the fattest Pharaoh of ancient Egypt? Hippo-Ptolemy"

"Two blondes were on an escalator in the mall, when the power went out. They had to wait 3 hours to be rescued."

"I'm in awe of people who can pronounce camaraderie correctly the first, second or tenth time."

"What is Harry Potter's philosophy on relationships... Hit it and quidditch."

"You can never be too OCD You can only be *just right*."

"Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email? He had no attachments."