177279

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire."

"My boyfriend is not gay!! So please next time you see him with some girls dnt come telling me."

"Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes? because she lost the recipe."

"Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud."

"My laziness is like the number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite."

"Q: Why must judges learn to spell well? A: They must follow the letter of the law."

"Stop bragging about your 10,000 lakes, Minnesota. You don't hear Iowa going on and on about its 12,000 smells."

"Remember when you thought if you accidentally swallowed apple seeds, a tree would grow in your belly? God I miss my 'Thirties'...."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of Donald Trump? You'll hurt his feeling."

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby"