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Joke of the Day

"What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner? ""No thanks, I'm stuffed."""

"I hate when I buy organic vegetables... and when I get home I find they are just regular donuts."

"A woman walks into a green grocers. She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber. He asks her: ""Whole or sliced?"" She replies: ""I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"""

"Duck. A duck walks into a bar. The barman asks ""What will it be?"" The duck doesn't answer because he's a duck."

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Don't worry--THEY'LL FUCKING TELL YOU."

"Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!"

"[typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim"

"I went to Applebee's for dinner last night Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave."

"The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin."

"Need Terrorism Jokes for a Terrorism and Communication class. Help a brother out!"