129724

Joke of the Day

"In the future a kid asks his grandfather a question. -Grampa? What does this tattoo mean? -Ahh, sonny, it's TIFU. Today I ff...uck."

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Just guess. BLUE PAINT."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up dude it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I'm sure he means well..."

"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."

"Sent an email to my Mom. Now I'm at her place showing her how to open it."

"I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating ""mucho"" for me It means a lot"

"In preschool, I became friends with a little girl I showed her mine, and she showed me hers. However, a preschool teacher found out about it, and I was fired."

"I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't like coffee. I'm very straight."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals. It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees."