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Joke of the Day

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Just guess. BLUE PAINT."

"I wish I was a girl So I can use my menstruation cycle as my calendar."

"Me and my Pink Floyd cover band played at an Epilepsy Awareness Concert... ... we absolutely killed!"

"I've found that jogging is much more fun when you never do it."

"""We don't allow faster than light neutrinos here"" said the bartender. A neutrino walked into a bar."

"If I had all the money in the world to do whatever I wanted I'd be the next US president"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends? Old Bay."

"How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Hmmm........I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you"

"The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech."