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Joke of the Day
"I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals. It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees."
Next Joke
"My sex life is like a Wild West saloon... Liquor in the front, poker in the rear"
"Who won the Asian cooking contest? It was a Thai!"
"I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself"
"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"
"Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ""HERGGEHRHEHAIOUIGSGEG!"""
"I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance."
"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators but when he arrived there was no one there, he'd come too early."
"Where do intergalactic keyboards go to drink? Space Bars"
"I like how McDonalds mixes the napkins in the to-go bag with the greasy food, so that even when I'm wiping my mouth I can get fatter."