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Joke of the Day
"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."
Next Joke
"WITCH (using her broom for just sweeping): did we give up our dreams? WIZARD (using his pointy hat as a piping bag for cupcake icing): yes"
"In my day, you actually had to leave your house to be a whore. Thanks, internet."
"OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! ""OMG."" Wtf are you doing?! ""HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"""
"Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything."
"The safe word is ""MMMBop."""
"Sexism is wrong and being wrong is for women"
"Can you guess what the pirate's favorite drink is? *Hint: named after a Captain...* Black beer, duh"
"Will net neutrality be defeated? Is the Gangnam Style finally over? Is Tupac really alive? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z"
"What has seven arms and sucks? Def Leppard."