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Joke of the Day

"Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words."

"How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? (x-post from r/gaming) Four fingers and a thu'um."

"What did the twin embryos say when they were hungry? Fetus"

"a magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway"

"A friend told me this one... Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends"

"What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer? A sore finger."

"Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*"

"You what's great about dick jokes? They're just so easy to slip in there"

"Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat can cause children."

"Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller."