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Joke of the Day

"A friend told me this one... Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends"

"Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do."

"Sorry Siri, talking to machines is not for me. I still get tongue-tied at the drive-through."

"I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate..."

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. We have had so many mammaries together."

"I love England th... I love England the flags a big plus"

"What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment. AY!"

"What are Germans most thankful for on the internet? Danke Memes"

"Why couldn't Donald Trump cross the road? Because a wall was blocking his way"

"The First Order from Star Wars VII were very environmentally conscious... ...because their Starkiller base was solar powered."