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Joke of the Day

"As my wife and three of her friends squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers.... I muttered under my breath, ""Fat fucking cows."" ""What was that?"" snapped my wife. ""You herd."""

"Is it necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down? Not all of us are surgeons."

"Some people just don't understand evolution. I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin! All credit to Milton Jones for that one."

"How did ISIS do on their French test? They bombed it..."

"What's the spaciest kind of camel? Andromedary"

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."

"Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed."

"What do you call a small dog? A subwoofer!"

"For some reason I always cry during sex. I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray."

"What is a crack head's favourite song? Q: What is a crack head's favourite song? A: I wanna rock!!! Well I found it funny anyway.."