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Joke of the Day

"What is a crack head's favourite song? Q: What is a crack head's favourite song? A: I wanna rock!!! Well I found it funny anyway.."

"Ladies, don't date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad."

"Did you hear about the Nirvana tribute act? They played some original songs yesterday. One was called 'Smells Like Kurt's Spirit'."

"mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's ""Love Story"" in the car on the way over] me: Yes"

"Did you hear about the bear attack at that Chinese Zoo? It was Pandemonium."

"Why are female inmates bad at grammar? Because they have their period in the middle of their sentence."

"My wife called me an alcoholic, and I was so taken aback I spilled my drink... But I was able to wring out the placemat back into the glass, so everything's ok!"

"Bought a 2nd cell phone to leave on the coffee table as a decoy when I go tweet in the bathroom."

"With all of this negativity in the media At least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"I've been on this new Vodka diet. It's great, I've lost 3 days already!"