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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are sitting in a tank And one turns to the other, bewildered, and says ""Do you have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works."

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"Birth Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.On arrival the nurse asks ""How dilated is she?""To which paddy relies,""Oh Jaysus we""re both over the fucking moon!!..:)"

"The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now."

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."

"Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!"

"Your baby was cute until I realized you're on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid."

"What's the difference between a hotel and a lodge? You can't hotel your dick into someone's ass."

"Why did the blind couple get divorced? They couldn't see eye to eye"