103917

Joke of the Day

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."

"What do you call 5 black people on a plane? Niggas with altitude"

"I hear Chikfila is becoming more PC... They now have transtender bathrooms."

"Bear Grylls lies on the floor at Starbucks peeing into his own mouth, ""this is literally the only way to survive in this environment"""

"Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church."

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."

"I put on my favorite disco album yesterday. My wife tried telling me disco was dead. I said ""No honey, it's not. You're thinking of your mother."

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"I like my women like I like my coffee horny"

"a lawyer, a priest, and a gangster walk into a bar bartender says, ""what is this, a joke??"""