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Joke of the Day
"Two men walk into a bar... *Thwack* *Thwack* Both are sent to the hospital for concussions"
Next Joke
"My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust. We call her Summer for short."
"I want to open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant And call it ""Tapas the Mornin' to Ja."" RIP Harris Wittels."
"Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the ""L"" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's."
"Don't you just hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything."
"Pinot? I hardly noir."
"What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair? Cancer"
"If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said ""sorry to Bale on you"" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest."
"""Uhm, EXCUSE me, my eyes are out HERE."" -- Hammerhead sharks"
"The problem with dieting is food."