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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter? Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves."

"My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life."

"I just saw Ex Machina... I thought it was supposed to be about AI, and not just about women."

"Weird how people say that gay marriage will lead to people marrying dogs, but the 2nd amendment is never gonna give dogs guns."

"Working for sanitation truly is a thankless job Not only do you have to take your boss's shit, you have to deal with everyones"

"What do gifted bakers take in high school? AP Flour"

"A man walks up to a cop on a horse... ...wow! That's a nice pig you've got! \-- That's not a pig, sir, but a horse. \-- I'm not talking to you!"

"- do u like green eggs & ham? - i do not like them, sam i am - but why? - animal agriculture leads to global warming sam read a goddamn book"

"Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this."

"My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates."