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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater. He swipes his card but it didn't register. The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, ""I already did and it fits great!"""

"What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip? Recalculating route."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler ? Michael can actually finish a race off.."

"What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room? sorry this is only a four star hotel."

"What did the Native American pirate say when asked his heritage? Arrrrrr Metis!"

"Everything becomes 100 times louder when you're trying not to wake someone up."

"Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence."

"What's the most political particle? *Elect*rons"

"Do you want to hear a joke about a psychologist? - Yes. - Why?"

"The Beatles and Pink Floyd collaborated on an Anti-Semitic song. It was called ""Hey Jew"" ."