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Joke of the Day

"Murphy's Law - If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Cole's Law - shredded cabbage in mayo"

"Why can't you trust anything MATTER says? Because it makes up everything."

"NSFW: Sperm 1: God I'm getting tired! How long 'til we reach the fallopian tubes? Sperm 2: Still a long way to go..........We've only passed the tonsils."

"I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes."

"Do you know how to convert a dishwasher into an automatic snowplow? Give that bitch a shovel. (I'm not really a sexist pig... But that's still one of my favorite jokes.)"

"What's the best thing about being a Shemale Can participate in mixed doubles alone"

"[at divorce lawyer] bad news, currently all your husbands assets are frozen ""he didn't"" he bought 1547 copies of it, he must really hate you"

"I want ""Wake me if anything cool happens"" on my tombstone."

"Gays in the military ""If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon"" Adam Hills"

"Party host: Anyone here allergic to nuts? Because I like to rest mine on the table."