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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you trust anything MATTER says? Because it makes up everything."
Next Joke
"What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it"
"Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you."
"If Rapunzel was a brunette, she'd have just opened the front door."
"The Baltimore Ravens"
"Malaysia Airlines loses contact with another plane. At least they know where this one is."
"Apparently Cadbury's are making an oriental chocolate bar I reckon it's just a Chinese whisper"
"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."
"Dog Jokes I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won't come when I call him."
"They're not gym clothes if you don't go to the gym, they're pajamas."