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Joke of the Day

"NSFW: Sperm 1: God I'm getting tired! How long 'til we reach the fallopian tubes? Sperm 2: Still a long way to go..........We've only passed the tonsils."

"Whats a motivational word for a gopher? Gopher' it."

"Old friend: I barely recognize you. ""That's the look I was going for. """

"""I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!"" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL"

"[clown cleaning shower] MRS CLOWN: Don't forget to remove the hair from the drain. [clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]"

"HORSE: *walks into a bar* BARTENDER: Why the long face? HORSE: Updog BARTENDER: What's updog? HORSE: Not much just walking into a bar"

"Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I've decided it's basically cyber-hoarding..."

"What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night? No wonder you called the company Microsoft"

"Coffee- LET'S DO THIS SHIT Weed- Don't be ridiculous"

"I ""Liked"" your comment on my status update because I'm too lazy to respond."