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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the terrible kidnapping? Yeah. He woke up. :)"

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and an Iraqi..? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast"

"There's Angie, and then there's Drunk Angie, and one of us tried to make it to Mexico on an exercise bike."

"Why don't they have driving lessons and sex ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? They don't want to overwork the camel."

"I recently became a father Is a weird way to say I just got a girlfriend and she started calling me ""Daddy."""

"Two brothers wrote an exam. One got in, the other didn't. The one who didn't get in got in the second time. His TWIN chance was what got him in."

"Whenever someone says they have ""a thing"" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony."

"War is not the answer Unless, ""What is the opposite of peace?"" is the question."

"Why did helium get into a fight with neon? They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try."

"Infatuation prick is the answer, what is the question? How do you want your wontons cooked?"