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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says they have ""a thing"" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony."

"What's the difference between your momma and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, and I forget the rest of the joke but your mother's a whore."

"Blowjobs are like paying your taxes. If you don't do it, you are going to be fucked."

"I have this strange feeling that the current VP of the USA is going to do something ridiculous to Pence But he is just Biden his time"

"So apparently ""self-deprecating humour"" is what's popular now... And I'm really not that good at it."

"What is Biz Markies favorite farm animal? Ewe, ewe got what I neeeeeed."

"What do steaks and pot brownies have in common? If you eat either of them in India you'll get stoned."

"[team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis."

"Every N.W.A song Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas! Verse 2: Police pull me over just 'cause I'm brown."

"A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks... A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks while they are eating and asks: ""Is ANYTHING alright?"""