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Joke of the Day

"Two brothers wrote an exam. One got in, the other didn't. The one who didn't get in got in the second time. His TWIN chance was what got him in."

"""Follow your dreams!"" - someone born into money"

"Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich"

"Describe Windows 10 with two words. Vista 2.0"

"What's the worst possible thing to hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."" David Sadaris"

"Wanna feel old? 1990 was 40 years ago."

"If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire."

"I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him."

"What did the plate say to the mug? Food's on me tonight."

"If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic."